The Vegas Trip Play-By-Play (as I Remember it)
I will try my hardest to bring you every last detail of the Vegas trip. Some things that we did were extremely crazy and fun, so I don't know how much justice I will be able to give. If it is any indication of the amount of fun we had, I am still feeling tired and wore out. My voice is almost back.. but not quite there yet.
DAY 1:
Jenni and I picked up Chris Hooley, and Chris had numerous cases of beer. After we got him, we hit the road We met up with Maggie and Cary in Wickenberg, replaced Jenni for Cary (dudes in one car - girls in the other) and were back on the road. We bumped rap music all the way up to Vegas and shouted over the top of it about how pumped we were to be going to Vegas. Cary was sitting quietly in the back seat, as Chris and I were shouty and awesomely cool in the front.
We arrived in Vegas at 2:30am. We rolled into the Imperial Palace like we owned it. We met up with the Californians (Steph, Mike, Ashley, John, and the other dude [totally drawing a blank on his name, sorry bro]). The Cali folks were pretty much ready for bed when we got there, but they were insanely fun to hang out with. Jenni and I stayed up until 5:30am, and Chris was up until 7:30am.
Day 2:
We woke up to "Eye of the Tiger" and Chris doing bouncing pushups on our bed. He bragged about only sleeping for an hour, and then he took us all out to "Manfast", which ironically meant "eat your face off at the Harrah's buffet" so there was no "fast" about it, it was actually a clever way of saying "man breakfast". Chris ate 3 heaping plates of food, I was in second place with 2 somewhat heaping plates. BTW: if you love breakfast buffets, Harrah's is the spot to hit...
We walked around for a while, and wound up at the Flamingo pool. There were literally thousands of people there having a great time. There was a dude in a sparkly g-string, and he was pretty funny. His audience was made up primarily of other dudes, but I'm not here to hate. Jenni and I caught a quick lunch at Margaritaville. We ventured back to the pool and then we were off to meet Ben and Hannah at the Hotel.
For some reason, Ben and Chris decided to go on a man-date. The pizza place they went to was filled with soothing music and kissing couples, they fit in perfectly. We waited for them outside the restaurant and drank mixed drinks while I explained underground hip hop to Cary. Ben and Chris finished eating, we left, and coined the term "Marpet".
Marpet: (NOUN) "Mahr-pit" or if you are from Boston "Mah-pit"
Definition: Carpet that looks like marble. Very fancy, dominantly found in casinos.
In Use by Chris: "You aint dancin unless you're dancin on marpet"
We continued our drinking, watched the Michael Jackson impersonator do "Thriller" which I was too drunk to remember, but I heard it was AMAZING!
On a side note: The Michael Jackson impersonator at the Imperial Palace was AMAZING. He looks exactly like MJ, and he dances just as good. At one point there were close to 500 people watching him do his thing. I honestly could not even imagine how amazing he was prior to going. I actually got choked up during his performances.
We left and went to Ellis Island, which in nature is quite the dive, but in reality, the place was the bomb. They have $1 drinks and Karaoke. They also had Sgt Contreras, who became the high-point of our trip.
Sgt Contreras (the Sarge): The Sarge was a guy we met at Ellis Island. We met him while standing outside while a few peeps were having a smoke. He introduced himself, and told us all that he is being shipped off to Afghanistan in 3 days. We proceeded to thank him for his service, and he offered to share his cigar. I almost accepted, then when he pulled the soggy, semi mutilated cigar from his drunken lips, and I declined the offer. He was more than gracious and continued to ask me to take a puff. I repeatedly said "no" and he got really butt hurt and quickly stomped it out. We asked him several questions, all of his answers went something like this, "I don't want any trouble, I just want to talk, no trouble.. blahblah, trouble..." We weren't offering any trouble, that was, until he started to follow us to our hotel. Chris has to give him the bad news, and advise him that we do not want to hang out with him.
Interesting fact about the Sarge: After looking back at our pictures, we realized that the whole time we were talking to him, he had pee in his pants and puke on his shirt. I don't know how 15 people missed this, but we did.
Ellis Island: We ate dinner. There were 12 people, and the bill was like $109 bucks. Again, we all threw down, but Chris' love for all things edible caused him to pay the vast majority of the bill (Kick-ass Chris coming through every time).. We sang "Sweet Caroline" and it was the best karaoke moment EVER.
Later in the night, we continued to drink, and we ended up at Casino Royale, which we referred to as 007 casino. That was after Shulie made it in after being delayed in Minnesota for a couple of days.
Day 3 (The Wedding Day):
After a good night's sleep, we again awoke to "Eye of the Tiger" which we then dubbed our anthem. We had another solid breakfast at Harrah's (which Chris awesomely paid for again... the dude is super generous and loves buffet food). We strolled around for a while gambling, and wound up back at the room to get ready for the main event: Nick and Jenni's 2009 Wedding Extravaganza.
Limo #1: The limo ride on the way to the Little White Chapel was crazy! We all took turns screaming out of the sunroof. Chris hung upside-down and dangled his feet out of the sunroof, which in-turn may have damaged the sunroof. The driver slammed on the breaks causing Chris' butt to hit Jenni in the face, laughing ensued. He did get us safely to the Little White Chapel.
The Nuptuals: Jenni and I decided to go traditional on our vows (we later shared our vows at dinner, it was better and less rushed that way). Our wedding pastor was pretty lame and was full of cheesy recycle-able jokes, but all in all, he did a good job. We waited while the desk lady told us about all of the celebs that came through there, it was a cool experience, and she was super nice and funny. Everything moved very quick.
We went outside and waited for our limo, but we were informed that we could no longer ride in the limo, because we broke the sunroof on our way there. I think they were making it up, but I can definitely see how it could happen. So, we hailed a couple of cabs and headed back to the strip. Our cabby made it a point to tell us how many people had urinated and vomitted in his cab. It made the ride fun; however, riding in a pukey-piss-infested cab kinda takes the lead out of your pencil so to speak. We made it back to the hotel and got ready for Planet Hollywood!!!
Oh yeah, Shane also won $1,000 bucks right before we left. Oh yeah again, Jenni bought everyone champagne before we got married (forgot to slip those details in there).
Dinner and the Party Bus: So, we decided to hit the road to Planet Hollywood for dinner. Ben and Hannah wanted to walk, and the rest of us decided to take a cab, or at least we thought we were going to take a cab. That was until Jenni and Steph hailed a friggin PARTY BUS!!! We partied like crazy people on that bus. We chanted and danced on poles, we hurt ourselves, and words will never do justice to the vibe on that bus. It was insane, no, it was AMAZING!!!
We arrived at Planet Hollywood, and walked down to the most amazing buffet ever. Julie and Shane paid for everyone, and gave Chris a break on the meal ticket. It was very nice and gracious. The buffet was epic. We all ate Prime Rib, Mashed Potatoes, Pie, etc.. I toasted everyone who came, and recited my vows to Jenni, they were off-the-cuff and heartfelt. Everyone clapped and laughed as I told her about how much I love her. We finished eating and went upstairs. Shane and I got very sick from something, but we were still able to make it over to Ellis Island round 2.
The walk to Ellis Island: We were on our way to Ellis Island when some dude got hit by a car. Steph is a nurse, so she ran over to him with Jenni and Chris. Apparently the dude was very badly injured and it was a gruesome scene; however, it was not gruesome enough to stop our partying so we continued.
We arrived at Ellis Island with a little less steam than our prior visit. I waited outside for Shulie, and everyone else got drinks. I was too sick to participate in anymore drinking. Shane and Julie got there, we went inside, and some dude name D.P. was hitting on my wife, so I walked up and introduced myself. D.P. was trying to be cool with me and get laid at the same time, it was stupid. He literally just went down the line of girls, but hey, it was Vegas, he is entitled to hit on anything that moves. The vibe at Ellis Island was not as fun as the first time, but we made due. A few of us were very sick from dinner, so we went back to the hotel.
Our ride back to the Hotel: We were trying to hail a cab, when I jokingly raised my hand to a stretched Hummer Limo. The driver gave us a ride back, and we tipped him well. The journey was less than $60, and well worth it. The driver also gave us a bottle of Vodka that the previous party left behind.. It was pretty awesome, and the driver was a hella funny dude.
Shane and I stayed in the hotel room for a night of violent puking and butt quirts. Jenni, Chris, and Julie went to the bar (baah) to hit on chicks. Apparently Jenni and Julie are terrible wing-men, and they did more harm than good for Chris.
They made it back to the hotel room where I proceeded to get angry for NO reason. I blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol, but it was preluded by vomit and cold sweats and heat flashes, so I feel justified. They found Shane in the bathtub, and complained about the odor coming from the bathroom. Jenni and Julie were laughing and crying for no apparent reason, and Chris was hanging out awkwardly while emotions were flying. We all laughed about it in the morning.
A few things that happened that didn't make it into the timeline:
Compliments and Concerns: We made it our mission to compliment almost every person who we felt needed a compliment. Some people handled the compliments well and gave us high-fives, while other people wrote us off as drunken bastards. If someone looked down for any reason, we would make them feel better by giving random words of encouragement based on their facial expressions. Shane was really good, but I had to tell him to stop calling black people "brother." It worked out ok because Shane is brown..
Probstitutes: We coined this phrase early-on. A Probstitute is someone who is probably a prostitute, but you can't really tell if they are. There happened to be an insane amount of probstitutes in Vegas, go figure.
Eff me in the Butt Shots: While attempting to heckle a bartender, we invented a shot. It's called "F*@# me in the Butt." The shot is made of Spiced Rum and a drop of Baileys Irish cream. You can have it "bloody" by adding in a squirt of cherry juice or Madori. We invented it, and it is super friggin gross. I had 2 shots, oi...
Michael Jackson: The MJ impersonator was a hit every time. We made it a mission to see him perform as much as possible. We found out that his name is really Michael Joseph, and he was named after MJ by his parents. Jenni told him about our son Tanner Jackson, and how we named him after Michael Jackson. They bonded pretty quickly, and Jenni was pumped.
The word "Pumped": The word was used probably 15,000 times, but it does not even do our trip any justice.
I don't think that I covered everything, but if you were there, and need to add anything, please feel free to leave a comment and tell us what went down.
Read more from Nick Norris by visiting his blog @ http://nicknorris.net.
DAY 1:
Jenni and I picked up Chris Hooley, and Chris had numerous cases of beer. After we got him, we hit the road We met up with Maggie and Cary in Wickenberg, replaced Jenni for Cary (dudes in one car - girls in the other) and were back on the road. We bumped rap music all the way up to Vegas and shouted over the top of it about how pumped we were to be going to Vegas. Cary was sitting quietly in the back seat, as Chris and I were shouty and awesomely cool in the front.
We arrived in Vegas at 2:30am. We rolled into the Imperial Palace like we owned it. We met up with the Californians (Steph, Mike, Ashley, John, and the other dude [totally drawing a blank on his name, sorry bro]). The Cali folks were pretty much ready for bed when we got there, but they were insanely fun to hang out with. Jenni and I stayed up until 5:30am, and Chris was up until 7:30am.
Day 2:
We woke up to "Eye of the Tiger" and Chris doing bouncing pushups on our bed. He bragged about only sleeping for an hour, and then he took us all out to "Manfast", which ironically meant "eat your face off at the Harrah's buffet" so there was no "fast" about it, it was actually a clever way of saying "man breakfast". Chris ate 3 heaping plates of food, I was in second place with 2 somewhat heaping plates. BTW: if you love breakfast buffets, Harrah's is the spot to hit...
We walked around for a while, and wound up at the Flamingo pool. There were literally thousands of people there having a great time. There was a dude in a sparkly g-string, and he was pretty funny. His audience was made up primarily of other dudes, but I'm not here to hate. Jenni and I caught a quick lunch at Margaritaville. We ventured back to the pool and then we were off to meet Ben and Hannah at the Hotel.
For some reason, Ben and Chris decided to go on a man-date. The pizza place they went to was filled with soothing music and kissing couples, they fit in perfectly. We waited for them outside the restaurant and drank mixed drinks while I explained underground hip hop to Cary. Ben and Chris finished eating, we left, and coined the term "Marpet".
Marpet: (NOUN) "Mahr-pit" or if you are from Boston "Mah-pit"
Definition: Carpet that looks like marble. Very fancy, dominantly found in casinos.
In Use by Chris: "You aint dancin unless you're dancin on marpet"
We continued our drinking, watched the Michael Jackson impersonator do "Thriller" which I was too drunk to remember, but I heard it was AMAZING!
On a side note: The Michael Jackson impersonator at the Imperial Palace was AMAZING. He looks exactly like MJ, and he dances just as good. At one point there were close to 500 people watching him do his thing. I honestly could not even imagine how amazing he was prior to going. I actually got choked up during his performances.
We left and went to Ellis Island, which in nature is quite the dive, but in reality, the place was the bomb. They have $1 drinks and Karaoke. They also had Sgt Contreras, who became the high-point of our trip.
Sgt Contreras (the Sarge): The Sarge was a guy we met at Ellis Island. We met him while standing outside while a few peeps were having a smoke. He introduced himself, and told us all that he is being shipped off to Afghanistan in 3 days. We proceeded to thank him for his service, and he offered to share his cigar. I almost accepted, then when he pulled the soggy, semi mutilated cigar from his drunken lips, and I declined the offer. He was more than gracious and continued to ask me to take a puff. I repeatedly said "no" and he got really butt hurt and quickly stomped it out. We asked him several questions, all of his answers went something like this, "I don't want any trouble, I just want to talk, no trouble.. blahblah, trouble..." We weren't offering any trouble, that was, until he started to follow us to our hotel. Chris has to give him the bad news, and advise him that we do not want to hang out with him.
Interesting fact about the Sarge: After looking back at our pictures, we realized that the whole time we were talking to him, he had pee in his pants and puke on his shirt. I don't know how 15 people missed this, but we did.
Ellis Island: We ate dinner. There were 12 people, and the bill was like $109 bucks. Again, we all threw down, but Chris' love for all things edible caused him to pay the vast majority of the bill (Kick-ass Chris coming through every time).. We sang "Sweet Caroline" and it was the best karaoke moment EVER.
Later in the night, we continued to drink, and we ended up at Casino Royale, which we referred to as 007 casino. That was after Shulie made it in after being delayed in Minnesota for a couple of days.
Day 3 (The Wedding Day):
After a good night's sleep, we again awoke to "Eye of the Tiger" which we then dubbed our anthem. We had another solid breakfast at Harrah's (which Chris awesomely paid for again... the dude is super generous and loves buffet food). We strolled around for a while gambling, and wound up back at the room to get ready for the main event: Nick and Jenni's 2009 Wedding Extravaganza.
Limo #1: The limo ride on the way to the Little White Chapel was crazy! We all took turns screaming out of the sunroof. Chris hung upside-down and dangled his feet out of the sunroof, which in-turn may have damaged the sunroof. The driver slammed on the breaks causing Chris' butt to hit Jenni in the face, laughing ensued. He did get us safely to the Little White Chapel.
The Nuptuals: Jenni and I decided to go traditional on our vows (we later shared our vows at dinner, it was better and less rushed that way). Our wedding pastor was pretty lame and was full of cheesy recycle-able jokes, but all in all, he did a good job. We waited while the desk lady told us about all of the celebs that came through there, it was a cool experience, and she was super nice and funny. Everything moved very quick.
We went outside and waited for our limo, but we were informed that we could no longer ride in the limo, because we broke the sunroof on our way there. I think they were making it up, but I can definitely see how it could happen. So, we hailed a couple of cabs and headed back to the strip. Our cabby made it a point to tell us how many people had urinated and vomitted in his cab. It made the ride fun; however, riding in a pukey-piss-infested cab kinda takes the lead out of your pencil so to speak. We made it back to the hotel and got ready for Planet Hollywood!!!
Oh yeah, Shane also won $1,000 bucks right before we left. Oh yeah again, Jenni bought everyone champagne before we got married (forgot to slip those details in there).
Dinner and the Party Bus: So, we decided to hit the road to Planet Hollywood for dinner. Ben and Hannah wanted to walk, and the rest of us decided to take a cab, or at least we thought we were going to take a cab. That was until Jenni and Steph hailed a friggin PARTY BUS!!! We partied like crazy people on that bus. We chanted and danced on poles, we hurt ourselves, and words will never do justice to the vibe on that bus. It was insane, no, it was AMAZING!!!
We arrived at Planet Hollywood, and walked down to the most amazing buffet ever. Julie and Shane paid for everyone, and gave Chris a break on the meal ticket. It was very nice and gracious. The buffet was epic. We all ate Prime Rib, Mashed Potatoes, Pie, etc.. I toasted everyone who came, and recited my vows to Jenni, they were off-the-cuff and heartfelt. Everyone clapped and laughed as I told her about how much I love her. We finished eating and went upstairs. Shane and I got very sick from something, but we were still able to make it over to Ellis Island round 2.
The walk to Ellis Island: We were on our way to Ellis Island when some dude got hit by a car. Steph is a nurse, so she ran over to him with Jenni and Chris. Apparently the dude was very badly injured and it was a gruesome scene; however, it was not gruesome enough to stop our partying so we continued.
We arrived at Ellis Island with a little less steam than our prior visit. I waited outside for Shulie, and everyone else got drinks. I was too sick to participate in anymore drinking. Shane and Julie got there, we went inside, and some dude name D.P. was hitting on my wife, so I walked up and introduced myself. D.P. was trying to be cool with me and get laid at the same time, it was stupid. He literally just went down the line of girls, but hey, it was Vegas, he is entitled to hit on anything that moves. The vibe at Ellis Island was not as fun as the first time, but we made due. A few of us were very sick from dinner, so we went back to the hotel.
Our ride back to the Hotel: We were trying to hail a cab, when I jokingly raised my hand to a stretched Hummer Limo. The driver gave us a ride back, and we tipped him well. The journey was less than $60, and well worth it. The driver also gave us a bottle of Vodka that the previous party left behind.. It was pretty awesome, and the driver was a hella funny dude.
Shane and I stayed in the hotel room for a night of violent puking and butt quirts. Jenni, Chris, and Julie went to the bar (baah) to hit on chicks. Apparently Jenni and Julie are terrible wing-men, and they did more harm than good for Chris.
They made it back to the hotel room where I proceeded to get angry for NO reason. I blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol, but it was preluded by vomit and cold sweats and heat flashes, so I feel justified. They found Shane in the bathtub, and complained about the odor coming from the bathroom. Jenni and Julie were laughing and crying for no apparent reason, and Chris was hanging out awkwardly while emotions were flying. We all laughed about it in the morning.
A few things that happened that didn't make it into the timeline:
Compliments and Concerns: We made it our mission to compliment almost every person who we felt needed a compliment. Some people handled the compliments well and gave us high-fives, while other people wrote us off as drunken bastards. If someone looked down for any reason, we would make them feel better by giving random words of encouragement based on their facial expressions. Shane was really good, but I had to tell him to stop calling black people "brother." It worked out ok because Shane is brown..
Probstitutes: We coined this phrase early-on. A Probstitute is someone who is probably a prostitute, but you can't really tell if they are. There happened to be an insane amount of probstitutes in Vegas, go figure.
Eff me in the Butt Shots: While attempting to heckle a bartender, we invented a shot. It's called "F*@# me in the Butt." The shot is made of Spiced Rum and a drop of Baileys Irish cream. You can have it "bloody" by adding in a squirt of cherry juice or Madori. We invented it, and it is super friggin gross. I had 2 shots, oi...
Michael Jackson: The MJ impersonator was a hit every time. We made it a mission to see him perform as much as possible. We found out that his name is really Michael Joseph, and he was named after MJ by his parents. Jenni told him about our son Tanner Jackson, and how we named him after Michael Jackson. They bonded pretty quickly, and Jenni was pumped.
The word "Pumped": The word was used probably 15,000 times, but it does not even do our trip any justice.
I don't think that I covered everything, but if you were there, and need to add anything, please feel free to leave a comment and tell us what went down.
Read more from Nick Norris by visiting his blog @ http://nicknorris.net.
Labels: drinking, funny news, hummer limo, las vegas, limo, party bus, wedding
posted by Beater Magazine at
9:10 AM
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