Beater Magazine's Official Blog
Saturday, December 2, 2006
What Kind of Blowhard are You?
When you interact with as many people as I do, you start to see patterns in the way other interact. Most people, like to listen to others, and express a genuine concern for the people around them. However, when it comes to the blowhard, your response means nothing, and they can make sure that you know it. With all of this in mind, I am going to clarify a couple of different blowhard types. The first type is the gasbag blowhard. This is the guy that most people can't stand being around. With phrases like, "what are you, a pussy?" and "Let's get some beers!", this blowhard is a loud-mouth, who is never afraid to share his opinion. This is the guy that calls people names to make himself feel like an even harder "blower of hot-air". Next comes the Hemmingway of the blowhards, the Andy Rooney of blowhardism. This is the person that writes about their outlandish views and tries to logically justify them. With terms like, "If you knew this, I wouldn't have to write it." This blowhard make you nessle up in your mental blanket, and put your mind to sleep. No more, no less. Next is the Traveling blowhard. His whimsicle tales of adventure and adrenaline make you thankful that you stayed home. As he enters stories of granduer, he utters phrases like, "My six pack was burning as I climbed the rock with no cables or harnesses." and, "I was the only person that could translate the native tongue of the tribe." he reminds us all that, we are much better of travling with our families. Now we come upon the Ben Stein Blowhard. This is the blowhard that knows everything about everything. The intellect has obviously taken over his ability to hold a regular conversation. God forbid, you ever use any words like, "dude, buddy, or homie" this guy will treat you like an imbusil. This is the guy that never makes eye-contact and is constantly wiping his glasses clean to show disinterest in everything you say. As you all know, there are many other types of blowhards, I just don't feel like addressing them right now. Feel free to add to the list as you feel necessary. Make sure you explain why. This gives us all the idea that you are not a blowhard yourself... Thanks
¶ 1:17 PM 0 Comments
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The Grinch Who Stole Christmas
Every year around this time, our local news stations get in the festivities of Christmas by talking to children, and asking them what they want for Christmas. Usually, the kids will respond with cute answers and talk about Puppy dogs, trains, bikes, and other typical kids toys.
Last night, I was watching the news, and what I saw, literally made me want to choke on my own tongue. The reporter was asking all of the children what they wanted Santa to bring them, and they were responding with answers like: laptops, ipods, x-boxes, and other high ticket presents. The reporter (looking like a money hungry idiot herself) was telling the children how "grown up" they are, by asking for presents of this nature. The sad part is, that most of these kids will probably get those laptops and ipods, and not even appreciate the extremities of these gifts. That thought brings me in to my main point. There are millions of kids that wouldn't even begin to ask for these things. These are kids that are asking for: shoes, jackets, families, food, and other life necessities. These are children that have lost one, or both of their parents, for reasons that don't matter (for sake of argument), and all they desire is to have a normal family again. There are other kids, who's parents can't afford to buy them more than $15-25 worth of presents, and these kids will be greatful. These are kids that (due to no fault of their own) get picked on by these rich kids, and have a hard time succeeding in life, because the people they work for, are the people that resemble those same bullies that had whatever they wanted as children.
These lees fortunate children have to ask Santa for things they should already have. There are no amenities in their lives, and they don't understand the concept of "asking for what you don't need". You will never see these children "recreationally" shopping for anything. The thought of some jerk buying a child a laptop makes me sick, especially when you know, that he knows, that there is another kid out there, that needs a new pair of socks. It's not a mystery, everyone knows that there is a problem, but we choose to ignore it. This is not fair.
Last weekend, at a local Phoenix mall, one of the news stations was doing a childrens drive for Christmas. They filled the entire back-end of a U-Haul trailor up with toys and clothes. They were so proud of the people that were giving gifts (rightly so). It was a beautiful thing. Kids had their pictures posted on a BIG Christmas tree, and the one gift they wanted, and someone would take the tag down, and purchase that gift, for that child. There was roughly a thousand kids that received their wishes this year. That is, until some A-Hole stole the trailor out of the parking lot in the middle of the night. They estimated about $15,000 worth of gifts for these kids were gone in an instant. That's about 8 laptops. That's right, 8 laptops. Eight presents versus 1000 presents? How did we get so selfish? Do these people believe that their children are more important that 1000 other children. Did the life they were lucky to be born into, really matter against their total opposites? Is buying your child a laptop really going to make them a better child, or a more greatful one? The answer is no, no, and no. The odds are, if you buy that kid a laptop, he won't appreciate it, and will expect the same thing, year after year. If you buy 10 kids smaller, less-expensive gifts, I guarantee that your gift will be remembered for the rest of their lives. You will probably inspire them to walk in those giving footsteps for the rest of their live too. So, you need to slap that silver spoon out of that spoiled brats mouth, and use it to feed an appreciative child.
To see more stories like this one, please visit: http://www.beatermag.com ¶ 11:44 AM 0 Comments Links to this post
Last night, I was watching the news, and what I saw, literally made me want to choke on my own tongue. The reporter was asking all of the children what they wanted Santa to bring them, and they were responding with answers like: laptops, ipods, x-boxes, and other high ticket presents. The reporter (looking like a money hungry idiot herself) was telling the children how "grown up" they are, by asking for presents of this nature. The sad part is, that most of these kids will probably get those laptops and ipods, and not even appreciate the extremities of these gifts. That thought brings me in to my main point. There are millions of kids that wouldn't even begin to ask for these things. These are kids that are asking for: shoes, jackets, families, food, and other life necessities. These are children that have lost one, or both of their parents, for reasons that don't matter (for sake of argument), and all they desire is to have a normal family again. There are other kids, who's parents can't afford to buy them more than $15-25 worth of presents, and these kids will be greatful. These are kids that (due to no fault of their own) get picked on by these rich kids, and have a hard time succeeding in life, because the people they work for, are the people that resemble those same bullies that had whatever they wanted as children.
These lees fortunate children have to ask Santa for things they should already have. There are no amenities in their lives, and they don't understand the concept of "asking for what you don't need". You will never see these children "recreationally" shopping for anything. The thought of some jerk buying a child a laptop makes me sick, especially when you know, that he knows, that there is another kid out there, that needs a new pair of socks. It's not a mystery, everyone knows that there is a problem, but we choose to ignore it. This is not fair.
Last weekend, at a local Phoenix mall, one of the news stations was doing a childrens drive for Christmas. They filled the entire back-end of a U-Haul trailor up with toys and clothes. They were so proud of the people that were giving gifts (rightly so). It was a beautiful thing. Kids had their pictures posted on a BIG Christmas tree, and the one gift they wanted, and someone would take the tag down, and purchase that gift, for that child. There was roughly a thousand kids that received their wishes this year. That is, until some A-Hole stole the trailor out of the parking lot in the middle of the night. They estimated about $15,000 worth of gifts for these kids were gone in an instant. That's about 8 laptops. That's right, 8 laptops. Eight presents versus 1000 presents? How did we get so selfish? Do these people believe that their children are more important that 1000 other children. Did the life they were lucky to be born into, really matter against their total opposites? Is buying your child a laptop really going to make them a better child, or a more greatful one? The answer is no, no, and no. The odds are, if you buy that kid a laptop, he won't appreciate it, and will expect the same thing, year after year. If you buy 10 kids smaller, less-expensive gifts, I guarantee that your gift will be remembered for the rest of their lives. You will probably inspire them to walk in those giving footsteps for the rest of their live too. So, you need to slap that silver spoon out of that spoiled brats mouth, and use it to feed an appreciative child.
To see more stories like this one, please visit: http://www.beatermag.com ¶ 11:44 AM 0 Comments Links to this post
